I’m typing this as fast as I can because I always run out of time and never say all that I want to and it’s usually the spiritual stuff that gets left out and that’s not good because I’m missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in Lauenburg, Germany with lots of awesome people.
Things from the list:
1. There’s a lady with an Adam’s apple in our apartment complex if you catch my drift.That’s all I’m saying. You can’t drag it out of me, no sir, or ma’am, I’m not sure which.
2. A few interesting door experiences:
A) knocked on someone’s door, they pulled into garage in car, told us they “had nothing to steal” and to just leave. We would have to be the preppiest, most unprepared, WORST thieves in the world if we were knocking on their front door in shirts and ties.
B) I stumbled on a few words, so I apologized and said that my German wasn’t very good, to which he replied, “Yes, I can hear that.” Typical German.
C)This one guy alternated between yelling at us and making small talk.
“So where are you from?” ” Arizona.”
“QUIT TRYING TO CHANGE PEOPLE!” Then he told my companion that we had no life-experience, and to come back when we were sea captains. What? Because that’s where he became a Rabbi?
3. I met our GML, or ward mission leader (Gemeinde Mission Leiter). His name is Gordon, and speaks perfect English (count your blessings), and knows a ton about German grammar. He’s 22, and speaks more slang than we do, because He went on his mission to South Korea, and served with a ton of American elders. He’s awesome, full of energy, and just a really fun person to be around, since he’s so close to our age. Lots of jokes, and he asked us what Napoleon Dynamite was like, because he was going to watch it.
4. Sister Baumgartel. She’s a ward missionary, 50-60, went on her mission to England (count your blessings), and is super funny in a subtle way. Also, she gives us chocolate and feeds us. We worked on her garden for like 3 hours, which consisted of me hitting everything in sight with a hoe. My arms are still sore.
5. Dark chocolate. highest I’ve had so far is 73% kokao. They have maybe the best chocolate ever here, of which Sister Kosak has commanded us to partake weekly. No seriously. Someone will call her and tell her they are sad, to which she will very seriously reply, “Do you have any chocolate?”
6. Along the same lines, Kinder (Kinder eggs, etc., German for children), makes these things called Happy Hippos. HOLE. EE. FRIJOLES. A wafer tube shaped like a hippo, with a colored on face so it really does look and is in the exact shape of a hippo. Inside is chocolate hazelnut creme and milk creme, and the first bite is the best thing that has ever happened to you, followed by the second, and then the last is the worst, most crushing disappointment you have ever felt. Germans do chocolate right. No one else likes them as much as me.
7. Döners. That is what everyone is obsessed with here. Basically Turkish gyros. Really good, sold like tacos here.
8. I’m reading Jesus the Christ, which has got to be the most amaying book ever. My companion occasionally just hears me go, “Whoa! No way!” during study time. He just ignores me.
9. I NEED RECIPES OF ALL KINDS. I HAVE TIME TO COOK. ALL OF THEM. I WANT THEM ALL.
10. I still haven’t gotten to play soccer, because we have to bring a less active member to play with our DL in Bergedorf. And he keeps skipping out on us! He played professionally in Greece, which according to my German DL, means he stinks. More next week, along with talking about my Tausch and how awesome Pres. Kosak is.
Tell Russ that it was spastically barking, so I tried to calm it down, but apparantly it worked a little TOO well. They were my favorite shoes too. I was just like ‘hmm, why is he – what is that soun – He peed! he peed on me! These are my favorite shoes! You are the devil you stupid beast of burden! When this family is all like, “why didn’t you knock on my door?” In the spirit world, I’ll just point to YOU! STUPID dog. IDIOT. These were my favorite shoes. I’ll see you in Heaven, MUTT.’ and etc.
Tell Grandpa that his German is better than mine, and that they don’t have any pickups here, but lots and lots of tractors that somehow think they should drive on the road. And that is now below 20 C, whatever that means, but it’s nice and cool.
I love you all so very much. I miss you a lot, but I’mm being helped. Pray for me that I will have the gift of tongues. Prayer is so powerful. I ran out of TIME AGAIN DANG IT I PROMISE I AM HAVING SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCES ON MY MISSION HAVE A GOOD WEEK I LOVE YOU ALL HOW IS GRANDMA DOING AND ALSO SEND ME RECIPES AND GERMAN BREAD IS REALLY GOOD AND ELDER DRAPER IS REALLY AWESOME AND I PROMISE I WILL TYPE FASTER NEXT WEEK I LOVE YOU BYE